10,000 foot view - aka: View from 30,000 feet
Action items - Something you have to do.
All hands meetings - I really fucking hate this term. A meeting everyone has to attend.
B School - It’s “Business School” asshole. Say the whole world.
Back burner - Something getting put off.
Bandwidth - As in, I don’t have the bandwidth to work on that project right now.
Benchmark - A key point or standard that is set.
Best of breed - The best thing/idea.
Best practice - A policy that should be followed.
Blue Ocean strategy - People showing off that they’ve read a book. No, trying to find non-competitive space to gain more market share (more jargon from me).
Brain dump - One employee sharing his knowledge with another.
Call on the carpet - To disclipine someone.
Change agent - Someone or something that brings about change.
Chair at the table - aka: Skin in the game, a chip in the game, etc.
Circle back - Come back to an issue later.
CLM - Career Limiting Move
COB - Close of business
Come to Jesus Meeting - These usually happen as a precursor to someone getting fired.
Core competency - What you do best.
Core culture - aka: Company’s core culture. Make up of the company.
CYA - Cover your ass. Drop this jargon in an email to me and I’ll TP your house.
Cycles - As in, I don’t have the cycles available to work on this project.
Deliverables - What you are going to give to them when you are done with the work.
Dipping your pen in the company ink - Fucking a co-worker.
Disconnect - Lack of understanding on an issue between two people.
Doable - Something that you can do.
Drop me a line - Call me…or email me.
Due dilligence - aka: research. A phrase made popular by ahole VC’s (venture capitalists).
Efforting - Working on something.
EOD - End of the day
Going forward - As in, how do you want to proceed going forward?
Granular level - Down at the lowest level of details on something.
Hard stop - As in, I’ve got a hard stop at 4PM so I can leave to pick up my kid. I might punch you if you tell me you’ve got a hard stop in our meeting.
Heavy lifting - Doing the hard work.
Hot button - An important issue.
Hump day - aka: Wednesday
Interface - Let’s meet. Let’s talk.
Jumped the Shark - Something that is past it’s prime. This term was taken from a Happy Days episode.
Let’s take this offline - To talk about it in-person or over the phone.
Leverage - As in, We have leverage on this issue with the judge.
Level the playing field - Make it even.
Low hanging fruit - Let’s do the easy stuff first….or let’s take the easy stuff before the hard stuff.
Magic bullet - The perfect solution to a problem.
On board - Agree with something. Or commit to be a part of something.
On the same page - In agreement. In an understanding together with someone.
Out of pocket - Unavailable. As in, I’ll be out of pocket for the next few hours.
Out of the loop - Not familiar with something. Don’t know what’s going on.
Outside the box - A novel and creative solution to a problem. (Thinking outside the box)
Outsourcing - Sending work outside your office. Often means sending work to be done abroad.
Ping - as in “I’ll ping you later” (aka: contact you via email or phone)
Price point - A fancy way of saying price.
Q1, Q2, Q3 & Q4 - Otherwise known as the 4 quarters of the year.
Rainmaker - Someone who makes things happen. Referring to yourself as a ‘Rainmaker’ should be punishable by jail time.
Ramp up - To increase something over time.
RFP - Request for proposal.
Scalable - Something that has the ability to get bigger, but not lose it’s structure.
Scope creep - Continuing to add new features not accounted for in the existing project plan.
Shoot me an e-mail - Send me an email…because I’m a fucking dweeb and like to say ’shoot’.
Shotgun approach - A wide, scattered start or target.
Shit or Get off the Pot - aka: Fish or Cut Bait. I’ll let you guess which I prefer to say.
Skin in the game - Equity or ownership in something.
Snail mail - Mail that is sent via the US Postal Service. Opposite of email.
Soup to nuts - The whole thing from start to finish.
Special sauce - Something that only you do. Or something you do better than anyone else.
Table - As in, Can we table this discussion until later?
Take away - As in, What’s the “take away” from this?
Touch base - To call , check in or otherwise talk to someone about something.
Uber - Very. As in, I’m uber excited about this merger.
Vertical - Where your business is located, and your competition.
Whiteboard - To write ideas on a dry erase board.
Win, win deal - A deal that is good for both people involved.
Zero sum game - A time where someone wins, but someone else must lose.